End One.

So yesterday I took my final exam for Anatomy.

There goes quarter one of nursing school.

I envy my fellow nurse bloggers that are nearing the end of their nursing education. This was just the beginning for me and I feel like I need a break. Between work, studying, and commuting to campus for lectures, it feels like I have no time for me. Oh I do get plenty of time with myself, thank you chaotic Los Angeles traffic, but no quality time to cater to myself. I'd love to throw on a pair of capri pants, grab a few essentials, a good book to read, and head down to the beach. Or maybe spend a long day the spa tossed in with a mini-shopping adventure at the mall. I used the word "mini" because as a student nurse with a part-time job, spending money to cater to my girly needs would just be suicide. 

Enough daydreaming.

SO, I just finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie. Such a beautiful story, I highly recommend it!  The book has inspired me to create change in my life. I've initiated contact with my best friend after a long year of misunderstandings. One long year lost because of a few misspoken words. It frustrates me how we spend so much of our lives articulating our speech, structuring our sentences with the correct punctuation, yet we can not say what we mean. Why can we not say what we feel without our pride, our high and mighty ego coming in the way? 

Lesson learnt. 

Sorry Blog

It's been a while since I've updated. I could type and type all my energy into this post, but I doubt my nonsense rambling would make much sense. Let's leave the jibberish to the medical textbooks. 

At some moments life is so darn busy. At other times, it's so boring I could read the phonebook for entertainment. These past few weeks have been just that. Ever since January 1st, I've been feeling somewhat on edge. I'm trying to figure out just what is it, can't quite put my finger on it. 

Update on Nursing School:

The first quarter will be over at the end of this month. Then onto the next.

I'm currently commuting 4+ hours to class once a week. Thank goodness the courses were scheduled so I can limit my driving time. Soon, I'm going to have to move closer to campus. Especially when clinical rotations start, but that is still months away. For now, I shall save, save, and save! 

Eeekk!

Studying during the holidays is a joke. Seriously, how is anyone suppose to focus on lecture notes and exam material during this time of the year? Really, people like myself wait all year for winter break. The last thing I need to worry about are assignments and studying for the exam that takes place the day I return to class. Blah. Right now, Anatomy is the last thing on my mind. But it's gotta be done. In order for me to succeed in this field, I need to treat nursing as more than a career path, more than a profession. I'm going to have to make it a lifestyle. Yes, I shall breathe, eat, and snore all things related to nursing.

End rant.

***

I'm working on my current state of mind, which is going through a real rough time. Winter blues perhaps? I'm aiming to clear out the clutter in my head and to start off the new year like the Energizer Bunny. Old wounds heal slowly, very.. very.. slowly. But they do heal. The physical ailments appear to be easier to deal with. The emotional, however, take time. The wound heals, but it leaves a nasty scar. A scar that is a constant reminder of what we've endured. A reminder for us on the days when we forget just how strong we are. 

I'm still learning, I'm still growing. I just wish some scars were easier to live with. 

Jitterbugs

Even though I've just begun my nursing education, I can sense the nervousness settle in. I do feel nervous... tense. As a child, I would tell my parents I wanted to work in a hospital. My decisions during my college days, however, steered me away from this childhood dream. I've explored plenty of other career options, but none have been able to keep my attention for more than a few months. Medicine is my calling; And coming to terms with these four small words has taken me a very long time. The nervousness I feel now is excitement, it's a sense of joy. I feel nervous knowing that I am finally going down the path I've wanted to be on.  So why am I so nervous, shouldn't I be singing from the rooftops? The expectations I've placed on myself are what make me nervous. I have a passion for this field, therefore I feel great pressure from myself to do exceptionally well. Pressure and self-expectations seem to go hand in hand. 

I'm hoping to employ this nervousness to keep myself on my toes. :)

And so it begins...

After spending the past 4 years of my life studying Political Science at a university here in So. California, I've recently enrolled into an accelerated program for the B.S. in nursing. Now, I can say that I am a nursing student. Class began a few weeks ago and already I can feel the tension set in. This is a new venture for me, a very scary new venture. This past year of my life can best be described with the word roller-coaster. I've had to make a few, yet very difficult changes. Starting nursing school was the easy part. Making it to Graduation Day will be the challenge. I hope that this blog will be an online diary for me, a place for me to detail the stories, and the struggles I face on this new path. 

I hope my posts here will be an inspiration to both myself, and to anyone else that may choose to read this. 

* I've spent the past few days playing with the layout design. I'm still not sure if I'm satisfied with the layout, or the colors. To be honest, I suppose it's not the layout design that I'm being jiffy about, but it has more to do with the creation of this blog itself. 

This is my first weblog. And this is the very first post. I'm still learning about this online world of weblogs. Go easy on me, I'll get the hang of this soon enough. I hope to leave a heavier mark the next time I post.